“He started it.” “You started it.” How many family fusses are genuinely resolved by those words? While such may reveal a catalyst, what about the involvement of those who fanned and fueled the flames? Instead of putting the fire out, we tend to point fingers, assign and shift blame, refusing to own our own culpability in whatever crisis has arisen.

Does it really matter where it began when both parties have done wrong? The first wrong does not excuse every other wrong that follows. Will there be episodes where one person or party was entirely in the wrong? Sure. However, there is usually more than enough blame to go around. Yet, once “the blame game” starts (and adults play this game much better than children), there is no resolution. We argue about sin, instead of conquering sin (which frequently remains hidden by blame). So, instead of playing this destructive game, make a family commitment to be solution-oriented. Teach and accept responsibility for your part in any fuss, no matter how small your part may seem. Let this cascade into a wave of cleansing confession and forgiveness, clearing guilt, shame and sin from the home, all of which are seed beds for Satan to lay in more wicked and pernicious snares for the soul. As the wise man teaches, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Prov. 28:13).